And guess who's with me... a sneak peek of Sin & El!
Go to the "Work Sucks Series" page and scroll to the bottom to read Book 4: Chapter 1!
If you don't want to read this blog post updating you on my life, no hard feelings. Happy reading!
And if you're still scrolling... let's get into it.
So... I've been a little MIA on social media over the winter... and it's basically for one big reason:
My grandma died.
Now that I've gotten that yucky statement out of the way, I'll backtrack a little bit. To all my AMAZING readers out there, I am so sorry I haven't gotten book 4 out yet! But thank you so much for still supporting me and being so patient. Honestly, the thought of all your support, especially from people who I've never even met in-person that just love my writing, has gotten me through so much of this terrible-ness. Thank you so much.
And if you're a nosy person like me and want more details, I'll get into it now. I started writing this blog post in January and haven't had the heart to finish it until now.
My joke for the last little while, especially during the winter, was that I'm cursed. The bad luck following me around has felt like a dark cloud for most of last year and it began last March when I found out about my grandma's... illness? I still don't know what to call it because she hated everything about it. I won't get too detailed, but basically she had stage 4 cancer and the doctors literally had no idea how much time she had or how quickly things would progress.
This was obviously hard to face. I'm not exaggerating when I say that me, my mom, and my grandma were 3 peas in a pod. My grandma helped raise me and she was the only babysitter I ever had. She was there for everything I did and we shared a really deep connection. Even though we didn't have many answers on how things would play out, we began the journey of doctors appointments, care-taking, and the dreaded feeling of taking things "day-by-day."
But even when things feel impossibly heavy, and you wonder how on earth you can keep going, time marches on. I worked hard on my books and was able to release How to Get Fired (book 2) last May and How to Fake It (book 3) last July. These were really exciting moments for me that were unfortunately surrounded by a world of sadness. Just to throw another wrench into what was already becoming a heaping mess, me and my boyfriend got COVID in August and I was bed ridden for over a week. Worst fever ever.
Things became much worse for my grandma (health-wise) in the fall and my writing journey took a back-seat. I get very emotionally invested and vulnerable in my writing and it was too difficult for me to write what I wanted to write and still have enough mentally to be there for my family. So for several months of this winter I took an unplanned, but necessary, hiatus. Again... I'm so sorry!
She passed away in November. Loss is such an odd thing, as I'm sure many of you have experienced, because the amount of varying emotions all rolled together are nearly impossible to comprehend. One moment I was relieved because she wasn't in pain any longer and she hated feeling so useless. The next moment I was so upset that my heart physically hurt in my chest. And the next I was feeling guilty for wondering if I should have done different things, said different things, playing the "what if" game in my head.
Then those emotions begin all over again at random times, in random orders, for no apparent reason. How is it possible to just accept that one of the best people to ever exist is gone?
2 days after her funeral, I got really sick. Before anyone jumps to any conclusions, I did not have COVID (again), but I did have an insanely bad cold that made me completely lose my voice. I thought it was some kind of sick sign from the universe; my grandma was gone, so my voice went with her, because there was no reason to talk without her in the world. Obviously I wasn't in my right-mind when I was thinking this (I was bed-ridden and full of ibuprofen), but it felt like my "bad luck" had hit it's peak.
2 weeks after her funeral, my grandpa died.
I know. Seriously?! I'm not kidding. I WISH that was a bad, bad joke. So my family ended up planning 2 funerals within one month, and it was all in the month before Christmas, as if we needed more salt in our wounds.
I was literally at the point of telling people not to touch me because they might get my curse. And I was only half kidding.
I basically spent my Christmas break in my bed in semi-hibernation mode, binge watching tv shows. Which obviously brings us to the new year and I couldn't be any happier to say bye FOREVER to 2022. I became really busy with my other job so now here I am, finally taking a breath again in May.
I'm finally writing again! For those of you who have read my "Work Sucks" series, you know how important El's grandma was to her, and the influence she had. I think that's my biggest challenge because I drew that relationship and those feelings directly from myself when I created El. But I'm determined to keep using those feelings when I write her story even if it's hard some days. The most meaningful things in life don't come without the risk of sadness.
Sorry to get so deep! I never promised this was a good story but it's a true one. Time marches on, which is both a good and bad thing. At least now I think I've shedded some of my bad luck curse... hopefully! Fingers crossed! Maybe knock on wood 3 times after reading this.
Thank you for caring enough to read to the bottom!
Other than that... stay tuned! And I hope you enjoy chapter 1 of book 4!
