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The Most Selfish Things I've Ever Heard... Disguised as Compassion

Alright, just so everyone knows, this entire post (rant) was triggered by the latest episode of The Bachelor.


Yes, I'm watching this season of The Bachelor. Honestly I find it very entertaining when I actually like the main love interest, and in this case, I do like Clayton. Over the years I've been on and off watching the show depending on who is on it.

Now back to my rant. During this latest episode, the 4 remaining women brought Clayton "home" to meet their families and friends. And the things they said... holy moly.

1. "Who's going to be here to pick up the pieces if it doesn't work out?"

So this line was said by multiple family members/friends. This is honestly the most selfish line I have ever heard.

"Who's going to be here to pick up the pieces?"

... umm... you?

That's sort of the role of a friend, to be there for support during difficult times. People have to be able to live their own lives, fall in love, make choices that may not work out. That's life. Aren't you there to support this girl? Are her experiences and emotions just too much work for you? I hate when people make you feel guilty over your emotions and disguise it as them caring.

2. Overprotective Fathers

So one of the dad's that Clayton had to meet was extremely intimidating. The girl, Rachel, literally warned poor Clayton multiple times that her dad doesn't like anyone.

So, you know, that's encouraging. Not nerve-wracking at all.

I completely understand a father's need to protect his little girl. I have a dad too! But your dad should never make you feel so nervous that you're actually afraid for him to meet your boyfriend. Your parents should be happy for your happiness. Being that overprotective is actually selfish because he's forcing his child to put his approval over her own.

Trust me. My parents were not fans of my ex but they never made me feel like that.

3. "If you hurt her, I'll hurt you."

This line is wacky to me. That's not comforting, its awkward. One of the friends, a little 5'5'' girl, said this to Clayton, a buff 6 foot tall man.

Chill out, this isn't a country song where you're going to slash his tires. This is something kids say in junior high/high school. After that, I really hope everyone grows out of it. Because that girl just changed the entire mood of the conversation so it revolved around her approval rather than the person actually in the relationship.

4. "I knew it wasn't going to work out."


This is a personal one for me. When me and my ex broke up (after 5 years) people would literally say this to me after I told them.

I'm not sure if they mean't it to be comforting, but it's not. How am I supposed to respond to that?

"Oh gee, thanks?"

"Why didn't you warn me before I wasted 5 years then?"

"Well I'm glad one of us knew."

Seriously, there is no good response to that. Nobody "knows" if things will work out or not. Are you god? Can you see the future? Didn't think so pal.

And that's the end of my rant today! Are there any selfish things you've heard that are disguised by kindness?

Happy hump day!

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